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Defining Abuse: Domestic Violence

DOES YOUR PARTNER OR FORMER PARTNER.....

Always have to be right?
Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful?
Control all finances and force you to account for all you spend?
Discourage your relationships with family and friends?
Hit, punch, slap, kick or push you or your children?
Destroy personal property or sentimental items?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Use or threaten to use a weapon against you?
Constantly criticize you for little things?
Anger easily when drinking or on drugs?
Threaten to hurt you or your children?
Force you to have sex against your will?
Humiliate you in front of others?
Stalk you, or check up on you all the time?
Try to control where you go, who you see, what you do?

If you are being hurt by or feel afraid of someone you are close to, or you know someone who is, there is help available.

FORMS OF ABUSE

Male Privilege:

  • Treating her like a servant
  • Making all the big decisions
  • Acting like the "master of the castle"
  • Defining men’s and women’s roles

Economic Abuse:

  • Intentional design by abuser to make a person completely dependent on the abuser for money and economic survival
  • Controlling a person’s money and forcing her/him to ask and justify the need for money to buy food, clothes, etc.

Psychological Abuse:

  • Threats of abuse or harm to others
  • Blackmail
  • Humiliation
  • Extreme control and/or limitation of all one’s activities including money spent, work issues, clothing worn, etc., by the abuser

Emotional Abuse:

  • Harassment
  • Constant criticism
  • Continuous denigration of one’s abilities and competency (e.g., you are a rotten mother, a bad wife, etc.)
  • Attempts to undermine one’s self-image and sense of self-worth by utilizing insults, name calling and "put downs"

Physical Abuse:

  • Physical injuries
  • Intimidation or threat of injury
  • Attempts to inflict physical injury

Sexual Abuse:

  • Attempts to engage in non-consensual contact
  • Any exploitative or coercive, non-consensual sexual contact (fondling, intercourse, sodomy, etc.)
  • Threatening a person in a sexual manner

Minimizing, Denying and Blaming:

  • Making light of the abuse, not taking it seriously
  • Saying the abuse didn’t happen
  • Shifting responsibility for the abusive behavior
  • Saying you provoked the abuse

Destruction of Property and/or Pets:

  • Destroying personal or household items
  • Torturing or killing of pets
  • Threatening to torture or kill pets
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